The gender wars

Throughout my life things have always been a struggle, I have never truly felt adequate to others, I have always felt like somehow I was never good enough for anything in life. Even today none of that has changed, society all around me seems to knit pick at each and every little thing I do, say, or express. I have nothing but short comings it seems. I will never be good enough to be considered a woman, nor will I ever be able to measure up to being a man. Which brings me to this war of the genders. It seems so important to people to place you in one side or the other, and yet I begin to question whether I actually am placeable, and if I am than where? If I was in fact meant to be a man as is believed by many to be the case based on the physical appearance of my body at birth(still not 100% sure on this) than why have I always had conflicting thoughts, was this an effect of being some sort of secret spy created by men to have me infiltrate women and learn their secrets only to undermine their strategy? Am I just a non informed drone waiting for some kill order? Or maybe the reality isn't so hollywood style and I just wasn't paying attention when they were handing out the penis brains and missed out on recieving mine. All of these thoughts really don't do much for concluding but considering all of my life I have done everything I could to fit in, I just wanted to belong but yet it just never really felt right.

When I came out as being trans it felt liberating in a sense, finally I didn't have to hide so many feelings I kept bottled up. At the time I felt so sure in the statement, "I identify as a female" I felt like my each and every thought and emotion was female. How sexist right? I mean how can I someone who was born with a penis actually have any grasp on what a female felt or thought? How could I who was born in a male body really grasp what it meant truly to be a woman? I mean it isn't too tunnel visioned to say that simply wearing female clothes and makeup is mere window dressings. After all in reality what clothes you choose don't necessarely make you any more or less a man or woman right? I know strange to see someone like myself actually saying that it isn't dressing like a woman that makes me one. Truly tho, it would be very sexist to think that thats all women are about is dressing up and acting girly.

So let's get back to that coming out statement "I identify as a female" well that is an interesting thing to try and grasp and yet so hard for someone who isn't in my position. How can I say that? How could I ever really? Well let's ponder this for a bit, and we can start off with what it is to be a female. There is so much in a concept like that, and so much you can't even really put into words, more over each and every females experience is unique, but yet, there are alot of commonalities. For one example the day to day struggles women have to go through, do I even have to go through any of these? Well certainly, the day I had my gender marker changed I set myself up for those struggles to some degree, the day I walked out of my house dressed as a woman I set myself up for a great many of those struggles. I think it is abundantly obvious that given the fact I am built fairly petit and not exactly a tall person I am no more a hard target to any predator out looking to destroy another womans life. I have had countless crude men cat call me while walking down the street, and while it was validating and sort of felt good to be confirmed as pretty enough to be cat called initially, it did get old really fast. And before we go off on the tangent of that almighty period being something I will never have to endure, you are wrong, for the last 2 years of being on hormones I have to put up with cramping, bloating, and the emotional roller coaster of hormone fluctuation, I am not particularly sure if any of my trans counterparts go through this or not, I've never thought to ask. Alas the fact remains for whatever reason there is I do endure this. So the question begs to be answered, Have I had all the experience necessary to even qualify as a woman, and the answer is, I do not know, what amount of experiences does it take before you gain that title, or does it even require experiences alone?

We can easily say in black and white views that well having the ability to have a baby makes you a woman, but unfortunately that statement excludes each and every woman who for whatever medical reason cannot, so obviously thats not fair, but you could even go so far as to say that they still were born with the uterus and ovaries that if under normal conditions would have made them capable of that, and that is a pretty valid argument. But then what about those intersexed children that were born somewhere in between and wound up identifying as a woman or even as a man in the end, do they not have claim simply because they only had x amount of internal body parts? I think that is very unfair. So really what does it all take to gain this elusive title? Maybe the answer is too complex to even put into words, and maybe the feeling that drives one to decide this is beyond comprehension. But maybe the answer is so simple even.

Through all of those possibilities that I listed there is one consistant thing in my life that allows each and every one of them to be valid to me as a collaboration of things that make me who I am, and that is that those things come so naturally to me, no effort to make changes to myself, because the moment I actually stopped paying attention to the things I say or do for a lack of fear was the day I actually was first ME. I actually find more often than not that people catch me doing things that coincide with what I present that I would have never thought I did. It's actually funny that the simplest things that people do in their day to day activities unconsciously, speak volumes of who they are and what maybe they are hiding from the world, everything from how you step off a curb to what part of your torso rises when you breath. So than the answer to this question is? Because when I dont try to follow a guideline and be what everyone else wants me to be this is what comes naturally to me.

AZ SB 1432

By Dustin GardinerThe Republic | azcentral.comWed Mar 20, 2013 3:18 PM

The furor surrounding Phoenix’s new anti-discrimination law has found its way to the state Capitol, with opponents pushing a bill that would block many transgender people from using the public bathroom of their choosing. But in a surprise move, a scheduled hearing on the legislation was postponed Wednesday afternoon until sometime next week.

Rep. John Kavanagh, R-Fountain Hills, wants to create Arizona’s first law governing restroom privileges. Under Senate Bill 1432, someone would be guilty of disorderly conduct if he or she uses a bathroom, locker room or dressing room that’s not designated for the sex listed on his or her birth certificate.

Some Phoenix City Council members see the proposal as a rebuke to their vote last month to broadly outlaw discrimination against the city’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender residents. A council majority approved the changes after more than five hours of emotionally charged testimony.

Councilman Tom Simplot, who is openly gay and pushed the reforms, said if SB 1432 becomes law, it would criminalize the “very nature” of being transgender, a term used to describe people who identify as a sex different than that they were born as.

“They’re creating a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist,” Simplot said of the proposal. “This kind of extremist legislation is exactly what brings criticism to Arizona and compromises our work to make Phoenix an accepting and competitive city.”

At the center of the controversy is a debate over whether Phoenix’s new ordinance allows a person born a man but identifying as a woman to use the women’s restroom and vice versa. There’s no legal consensus, but city attorneys have said that a transgender person might, in some cases, have a discrimination claim under the law if blocked from using the restroom.

Critics of Phoenix’s move have repeatedly raised fears that the city opened the door for sexual predators to share bathrooms with women and girls. They labeled it the “bathroom bill,” a nickname gay-rights advocates said was an inflammatory distraction.

“This is about the person who will use gender identity or expression as their ruse to gain access to opposite-sex facilities,” Cathi Herrod, president of the conservative Center for Arizona Policy, said after the council approved the ordinance.

Kavanagh submitted the proposal as a “strike everything” amendment to an existing bill, meaning it strikes out all the original language and uses its shell to advance an entirely different proposal. Because it has an emergency clause, the law would go into effect immediately if the governor signs it.

SB 1432 would make it illegal to enter a bathroom if signage indicates it is exclusively for the opposite sex. Authorities could charge violators with a Class 1 misdemeanor, punishable by a $2,500 fine and up to six months in jail.

"The city of Phoenix has crafted a bill that allows people to define their sex by what they think in their head," Kavanagh told 12 News. "It also raises the specter of people who want to go into those opposite sex facilities not because they're transgendered, (but) because maybe that they're just weird."

It includes exemptions for children who need assistance, the physically disabled, people giving aid to others and those who must enter a bathroom as part of their job responsibilities, such as a janitor or maintenance worker.

News of the latest so-called bathroom bill quickly spread online Tuesday and attracted the attention of national gay-rights groups. It follows several high-profile U.S. cases involving bathroom use for transgender people, including several school districts that have struggled with such policies.

Much of the recent attention has focused on the case of a 6-year-old born a boy but identifying as a girl who was prohibited from using the girls bathroom at a public school. Her parents are now fighting the school district, citing Colorado’s 2008 anti-discrimination law.

Michael Silverman, director of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, said the bill puts Arizona in the minority of states that are curtailing rights. He said 16 states and more than 160 cities and counties, including Phoenix, have passed laws protecting against discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression.

“Many transgender people do not look like the sex that’s designated on their birth certificate,” Silverman said. “This bill will put transgender people in serious danger.”

Phoenix, Tucson and Flagstaff are the only Arizona municipalities that have adopted similar laws.

Katelyn's thoughts:

This is all a load of bull, it's an obvious attack on transgender people as a way of having ammunition to attack us directly and legally. there IS NO legitimate basis for this bill as far as criminal necessity goes, there has been no increase in rapes or peeping toms in women's restrooms. If you look up Colorado Senate Bill 200 you will see that a similar bill to Arizona's previous bill was passed 6 years ago and you can look further to notice that 0 cases have been reported of a rape or peeping tom case in Colorado in those 6 years... 0 CASES... I say again 0 CASES!!! so if it's not happened in those 6 years since it's passing what are the chances it will happen anywhere else? I challenge anyone reading this to prove to me that a law breaking rapist or pervert would be stopped by a law preventing them from being allowed into a women's restroom to do their deed. Laws prevent nothing, they give grounds for prosecution AFTER the law has been broken. Since every state in the union has laws to say its illegal for a man to be in a women's restroom, which is usually determined by their gender marker on their ID it is not necessary for them to add a birth certificate as mandatory proof nor is it necessary for them to mandate we carry that with us either, lets face it, to get that gender marker changed in most state you have a series of hoops to jump through including proving to a doctor you suffer from a condition commonly referred to as gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria. once you prove that you go through the legal proceedings, this is not a simple process and any rapist couldn't just get approved over night then go back on their whim, the states take this change as seriously as we do which is why they make it hard so it isn't abused. Why can't we just leave the laws as they read and let people get on with their lives and focus on more important things? Why do the religious feel the need to force other people to live THEIR lives how the religious nut cases think they should? IT'S MY F-ING LIFE NOT YOURS!!!